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The Tick vs. Justice
Episode Seven, Season One

Original air date: 1-17-2002

The Tick vs. Justice

The Tick vs. Justice was the consensus favorite episode of the live Tick series. It is one of the only episodes that actually features a supervillain for Tick to fight; Destroyo. Unfortunately, after he's caught, Tick has another battle to fight; Destroyo's trial.

Tick really doesn't have a clue as to the vagaries of the legal system, and as Destroyo manages to utilize loophole after loophole Tick becomes more and more agitated, until he finally snaps and tells off the judge (Who died and made YOU the crossdressing king of justice?) so Tick is throw in jail for contempt.

While Tick is incarcerated Destroyo's henchmen try to off the other witnesses, Batmanuel and Arthur. The boys manage to survive a viscous ninja attack but realize their case isn't too strong...so they do some research on Destroyo's past. Eventually, Arthur uses Destroyo's past (Dance, fatboy!) to taunt him into attacking him in the court and thus finally getting some evidence against him.

This was probably the funniest episode in the new series. It was very well thought out and it had some great lines; if the other episodes were this good the show might still be on. Ironically, this show first aired AFTER the show was officially canceled.

This episode features these Superheroes:
The Tick
, Arthur, Batmanuel, and Captain Liberty.

This episode features these Supervillains:
Destroyo

Tick the prisoner

Tick behind bars!

Me

Tick's roommate, Me

Destroyo

Destroyo with a cop

Tickisms:

The Tick:
This is nothing more than a salty slab of justice jerky.
His name isn't Life-Buildo or Have a Nice Dayo, it's Destroyo. Case closed!
When do I get to hit him again?
Why is that man wearing a dress? (Arthur) Because he's the judge! (Tick) Well I judge him and find him funny.
It could be nothing…it could be the stench of unfathomable evil…
Hey bossy! Why don't you pick on someone my size?
Why don't you curl up your metal mitts into fists, because you face the Tick!
Bring it on, crablobster!
It has a name?!
Stop usin' the D word…it makes the brain baby kick!
I don't get it Arthur. We caught him fair and square, dumped him off in front of the police station with a note pinned to his chest…why is this happening?
Since when do you need a warrant to take a nuclear bomb, Anthrax, and very strong rope out of the trunk of a villain?
Who died and made you the crossdressing king of justice?
Batmanuel, swear you'll protect Arthur while I'm in the pokey.
I'm a political prisoner. I fought the system and the system won.
Me, you're about the only sane person I've met in the midst of all this insanity.
Arthur, is the system working?

Destroyo:
I am a legitimate businessman and patron of the arts who has been unfairly stigmatized because I happen to wear a platinum and titanium exoskeleton which sadly tends to frighten children and cause heart attacks in the elderly.
Kneel before your steely doom!
Then you admit your wrong act of justice was nothing more than vigilatism at its worst? (Tick) I'd say vigilantism at its' best.
You are a Barbie doll trying to fit into a world of GI Joes.
Confound you woman! Will your prattling never cease?!
The combined weight of the horrors I have authored wrought would crush your carbon hearts into perfect diamonds of terror!

Batmanuel:
Nuclear Bombs aside, the important thing is that I had the right of way!
I rest my cape.
You face facts, bunnyman!
Sleep…good…another assassin favorite…
Another urban myth dispelled…ninjas don't bounce.
I barely know this little guy…why should I die for him?!

Captain Liberty:
You! Can't I even take a pee break without you talking someone into suicide?
Oh my god, it's all true! I'm a lie and my life is crap!

Arthur:
Contempt of court? (Tick) Oh, Contempt is a strong word…I sure don't like court very much…
Nobody's gonna' kill us in broad daylight… (Batmanuel) That's what the last witness that was killed in broad daylight said!
Dance, fatboy, dance!

Me:
You got the antenna head…
I'm a karmic cosmic comet leaving my stoned immaculate crater in the soul of the virgin mother Earth.

Stanislav:
He was like a beachball in tights…


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© 2002 Michael Legg unless specifically noted.
All Tick images are owned by New England Comics, Fox, and Ben Edlund