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The License
Episode Four, Season One

Original air date: 12-6-2001

The License

I'd like to say that this episode (#4) marked a turning point in the new series and they will all be great from here on out, but I don't know yet. At this point, the show is more focused on myopia than villainy to create conflict.

The premise of this episode is that The Tick needs to get his superhero license. Of course, to do that he has to know his real name and date of birth (etc) and he doesn't have a clue. There is a good scene where he reports himself to the police as a missing person, though, and he ends up on a milk carton which was pretty funny.

All in all, though, I wish they would introduce some new elements into the show. It is really more like any other sitcom with people sitting around bantering in a diner than The Tick I expected given the comics and cartoons.

Another minor trend I noticed is continued here; the heroes are all lawbreakers to some extent. So far we've seen Bat Manuel with thousands of unpaid parking tickets, Captain Liberty ticketed for not cleaning up after her dog and later busted for posing nude, and in this episode we see Batmanuel stealing newspapers out of the machine. Maybe Tick will fight them instead...

This episode features these Superheroes:
The Tick
, Arthur, Batmanuel, Captain Liberty, and Medusa.

Heroes Named but not appearing:
The Weasel, The Colon, The Amazing Forehead

This episode features these Supervillains:

Tick Mugshot

Tick Mugshot; notice he's about 7' tall.

Superhero License

The Tick's Superhero License (Notice the name; I.P. Daley)


The Tick:
I am The Tick.
How then does one procure this laminated rectangle of righteousness?
A little levity never hurt anybody, did it Thelma?
Thelma and Arthur, sittin' in a tree, PLZGROB!
My first letter of rejection and I haven't even started my novel yet.

Arthur, I am a citizen of the moment. I built my white picket fence around the "now" with a commanding view of the "soon to be".
I am the sterling silver ladle of justice, pouring its foamy cream over the just-picked strawberries of crime. (Arthur) Tick, that won't fit on the application.

Oh, do you smell that Arthur? Urine, vomit, stale coffee, cheap perfume, vermin, fecal matter…sweet ambrosia to my olfactory senses. It's the stink of justice that you just can't shower off!
I'd like to report a missing person, me!
I remember nothing…does that count?
Worried to death…oh, you poor zombie; that's no way to die!
Who knows who else may come out of the woodwork and tell me who I am!
Don't forget; even though I'm Ted, you're still Arthur.
(Sibyl Cyllum) Here we are at the Grand Canyon. Do you remember being at the Grand Canyon? (Tick) I remember vaguely making a Grand Canyon…was that the same trip?
These lettuce fragments are unwieldy.
Dear, I was wondering if this would be a good time to go out on patrol?
Jehosephat, woman! Crime IS my desert!
Dear lady who thinks I'm her husband; we've been through a lot together. The good times, the bad times, the me not allowed to go on patrol times. We want different things. You want a home and a husband and a family. I wan to be the yin to villainy's malevolent yang. One of us is clearly nuts. You probably think it's me, which is okie-dokie.
Let me just pack a few things…I have no things.

Bat Manuel:
Maybe he's from space.
Have you checked the local loony bin?
I wasn't born yesterday, though I am quite young…
If you do not know who Batmanuel is, you do not deserve to know.
Oh, look at this! Can you believe this? That little weasel The Weasel got his name on the front page again, not to mention a picture which, by the way, just shows you what a weasel he is.
Arthur? You look so…plain.
Be prepared, if your answer is not scintillating, my interest will fade quickly.
Arthur, would you be running along? Janet and I need to have a conversation about when we will be having sex again.
Tick, I agree with the few measly scraps of what you spewed out that made sense.

Captain Liberty:
We got a guy stuck halfway up a robot's ass, that's what we got.
Do you ever stop? (Batmanuel) Mmmmm....No!

I heard when she busts your balloons it can't be fixed.

But really, gives me a deep sense of satisfaction. Balancing the books - that's the battle I want to win.

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© 2002 Michael Legg unless specifically noted.
All Tick images are owned by New England Comics, Fox, and Ben Edlund